Push
by Katie Day
Summary: A supernatural clan of ninjas is searching for an ancient relic, destroying all in their path. Raphael and April seem to be connected to their plot, and to each other, in more ways than they know. Raph x April
1. Dance

April knew she was breaking the rules - a cardinal one in fact...

_"Do not act out of anger."_

It wasn't like she was fighting anyone, though. Did the rule really apply if she was just practicing? Her hands clenched the hilt of the katana tighter as she whirled it about skillfully, recalling Splinter's words. It was better that she worked out her frustration here rather than taking it out on anyone else. And, boy, did she feel like taking it out on someone else.

Casey. Flippin'. Jones.

She couldn't even believe she'd invested any sort of interest in the jerk. A couple of drinks down his throat and there he went, charming the pants off of half the women in the bar. April should have known something was up when he took her to a bar in the first place. How was that even a real date? Pft. Expecting a nice dinner was too much for him to handle, she supposed. He probably would have gone even if she hadn't.

Asshole.

She whirled the katana around the other way and thrust it forward. Why did she bother with his type anyway? What was so appealing about his chiseled features and unshaven, square jaw? He was basically a gorilla waving around a hockey stick at muggers every night. Not like that took much skill.

The boombox she had brought up to the roof of her apartment building trailed out from the ending of "Barracuda" to Roxette's "Fading like a Flower." Two verses into the song April promptly smacked the box with her sword, causing it to skip and whine pitifully.

"Little stressed?" she heard in response to the stuttering machine. Distracted from her seething, she glanced over to the ladder where the deep voice had come from. She would have known him by that alone.

"Maybe," she hummed, standing straight again and resting her hand on her hip, the other resting the katana at her shoulder. She regarded him cooly. Raphael hoisted himself the rest of the way up onto the roof with one press of his arms. "You're up late."

"City never sleeps, and neither do I," he replied, simply. True New Yorker, accent and all. Actually, April knew that Raph had the habit of wandering out at night while his brothers were at home asleep. It was the only time he managed to get out alone or else his brothers were tagging along. "I was wonderin' what all the noise was up here."

"I'm not that noisy," she defended lightly, blowing a strand of loose hair out of her eyes.

"Awful lot of screamin' says otherwise," he responded. April's eyes wandered and she knawed her lip guiltily. The first hour of "training" hadn't been as cool and controlled as she would have liked to admit.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough. What did he do now?"

"Mph," April huffed.

"Fine. Not like I really care," he said, wandering to the edge of the roof to look out, his back to her. For some reason April felt a little insulted, but she just reminded herself who she was talking to. Raph was the last one to share his problems, much less want to talk about anyone else's.

"Well, if that's the way it is...I'm just going to go back to my own business then," she replied, pressing the play button on her boombox, relieved as it began to play "Hey Pretty". She turned from him and practiced some more moves, trying to just ignore that he was there at all. It was all about the zen. She span, slashing the sword outward to the left. It crashed sharply into something metal and she stumbled a little, startled, and looked up into Raphael's eyes behind the red mask. His sai pressed against the pressure of her katana and a smirk curled at the corners of his mouth.

"Not so fast. I came up here to train. And I'm gonna train," he said lowly. April cocked an eyebrow and pushed back from him, hopping a few steps away and letting her sword come to her side.

"What are you talking about?" she said with a confused chuckle in her voice.

"Just what I said."

"What...?" She glanced side to side. "With me?"

"Better than nothin'," he said, sai's still ready in his hands.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" she replied, brow furrowing. Raphael smirked and tilted his head once to the side in a sort of smart-assed shrug. April knew she was hardly at the same level as the brethren of turtles. They had been training since they were very young, and she hardly had the girth that they did. He couldn't possibly be serious, could he? Something in his remark made her fume, though. She was almost certain he was trying to rile her up. Raphael had an awful temper sometimes and she knew he had a bad habit of picking fights. She attempted to remain cool and let the annoyance melt from her face. "Right...Raph. Funny." She sheathed the sword and headed towards the stereo to retrieve it, making like she was going to leave him to his one sided training.

As her fingers brushed the handle of it, she unsheathed the katana and swung at him. Raph never let his guard down entirely, and this time it was no different. He blocked her swing with both sai and regarded her with a little amusement.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Can't blame me for trying," she replied, putting all her weight behind the sword before pushing off again as she did before.

"Can and will," he replied, suddenly heading for her with amazing speed. She almost had no time to react. Unable to get her sword up in time to guard, she rolled off out of the way as his sai hit the concrete with a clang. He glanced over at her from where he crouched and she stuck her tongue at him, scrambling up to her feet. She sprinted around and came at him from the other side to which he flipped away, landing on the edge of the building.

"Come on, Raph. I'm sure you'd rather spar with one of your brothers," she said, lifting her sword and shrugging up her shoulders.

"I want to fight _you_," he replied, and leapt up, diving at her from above. April readied herself this time and managed to get the sword in front of her, but Raphael's sheer weight brought her down to her back with a thud. If he had landed on her with his full body she would have had broken more than a few bones, but he merely crouched over her, pressing down on her sword with both sai now.

"Little rough, Raph," she huffed, fighting to push him back. Certainly he wasn't using all his strength or else she'd be losing, right? But Raphael was hardly the type to go easy on anyone. What continued to boggle her was why he wanted to practice with her when she obviously was no match for him no matter how skilled she was.

"Casey could take it," he replied. April's eyes darted up to him and she flared. Her foot came up and shoved him up off of her. The turtle stepped back but remained balanced as she moved to her feet again. April gripped her katana fiercely and came at him, overhead, to the side, underhand...whatever her body commanded as it raged with adrenaline. Raphael continued to block her swings as she advanced on him, causing him to step back with every blow. The air became tinged with the harmony of metal against metal.

He watched as her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparked with fury. It was so suitable against the frame of her red hair which had begun to come loose of it's ponytail with her furious motions. They had come to the edge of the building and one of Raph's feet rested on the edge as he held her sword there between his sai.

"Come on! Don't LET me win!" April huffed.

"Never dream of it," he replied and shoved her back, retaliating on her with his own set of attacks, forcing her to defend and retreat. April forced herself not to miss a step, watching his motions and trying her best to pre-empt them. When she found an opening, she would attack and Raph would always defend and return the favor. She could feel the sweat coating her tank top and shorts, sliding down her face and chilling her as the night breeze came in. Training with Splinter had never been so intense. There was always some sort of restraint. It was all about composure and skill. As Raphael came at her and she responded in kind, she felt very much envigorated, and on fire. Even if he was going easy on her, even a little bit, she couldn't tell.

In the flurry of the fight she barely saw it coming. The pain didn't even register until she had fallen backward. Raphael's sai flew past her blade and crashed into her shoulder.

"Ah...!" she gasped as she landed and her shoulder began to throb. Raph had seen it coming, but a little too late. He had expected her to block, but she had moved too slow. At the last minute he managed to tilt the sai upward so the tip didn't penetrate her shoulder, but the metal still impacted harshly. He was a little startled, but it only crossed his features for a second as his sai flew to the side out of his hand. April sat up and looked at him, feeling her shoulder and rubbing it. She looked up at him and gripped her katana, getting to her feet and bringing her arms to her sides.

"I -" Raphael didn't have to figure out what to say because April came at him with her katana readied. His muscles tensed and he moved to guard with only one sai available.. Honestly, he hadn't expected her to keep going. He wasn't sure if he had really hurt her or not. He brought his sai up and caught her blade once again.

"Didn't expect me to quit that easy, didja?" she asked, still panting from the activity prior. Raph looked at her a moment and tried to contain a grin.

"No."

They continued to exchange attacks for a while longer, and soon the ache in April's shoulder began to fade.

"I can't believe this," April huffed, as she took another side swipe at Raphael.

"What?" he asked.

"I feel better."

"I know."

"What do you mean?" she asked, stepping back for a moment and wiping her forehead with the back of her hand before starting to round on him.

"You were pissed."

"I am pissed." Raph regarded her with a raised brow and watched her movements out of the corner of his eyes. "Okay...less pissed," she admitted. "I can see why you like to train by yourself."

"Hn?" he murmured, promptly whirling to block and repel her attack as she rushed him from behind.

"Splinter won't let you fight angry," she replied and scowled at being blocked for the billionth time. "But... it helps you calm down. So...you won't hurt anyone." Raphael said nothing but merely tilted his head as if in acknowledgement. He was a turtle of little words like that. "It really helped me. Thank you."

"Yeah," he replied, watching as her stance became more casual. His eyes darted quickly to the side when he noticed how tightly her clothes clung to her with sweat. "What...are you done?"

"Yes," she replied with a chuckle, sheathing the sword with finality. "I need a shower..."

"Pft... I haven't even broken a sweat," he prodded.

"Wh...ah...right... I see what you're doing there. Trying to rile me up again.. I'm all angered-out, Raph," she chuckled.

"Women are never 'angered-out'," he replied.

She eyed him a moment, amused.

"Don't push it... Besides, how would YOU know? Not like you talk to any women but me."

Raphael puffed up, "You don't know that."

"Come on... Your people skills aren't what they could be."

"Doesn't mean I don't... talk...," he trailed off, frustrated. She picked up the boombox and slung the sheathe over her shoulder, walking up to him and patting him on the shoulder.

"It's okay...really. It's a whole lot of complicated stuff you don't wanna get involved with, believe me." She patted his cheek then and turned for the ladder.

"April."

"Hm?" she looked over her shoulder at him.

"You're... You...fight... good." He turned his head and crossed his arms indignantly. April blinked a couple of times.

"Pardon?" she asked, stepping backwards towards him.

"Mmpmhmhpmh...," he murmured, lowering his head.

"Hmmmm?" She asked, leaning towards him.

"You fight...good," he repeated through his teeth and looked at her now. "...for a girl." April's expression faltered. Raphael grinned, and couldn't help it.

"Damn you!" she huffed and set the boombox down, punching him in the arm.

"Thought you were all 'angered-out', April," he teased.

She punched him in the face then, and for once he didn't see it coming.

"...ow," he said, stunned.

"Jerk," she huffed and started to march off. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going home now." Raphael watched her descend the ladder and walked to the edge of the building as she disappeared through the window of her apartment and closed it loudly behind her. He moved to retrieve the sai he had dropped earlier and went to sit on the edge of the roof.

April had a lot more in her than he thought. He rubbed his jaw a little bit and wondered if she would consider sparring with him again.

Naw.

That would be suspicious if he asked wouldn't it?

The look in her eyes, though...the rawness of her movements when she got angry...

A smirk quirked at his mouth again.

This was the first time he actually got her to fight him. He had considered it before, watching her train with Splinter...but asking her would have been ridiculous. The timing had been perfect. All she needed was a little shove, and boy, did she let go.

"...certainly won't be the last," Raph murmured, looking out at the city. He stood, stretched, and leapt down off the building towards the street.

The night was still young, after all.


	2. Popcorn

April yawned widely as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, all ready for "movie night" in her pajammas and robe. All she needed was her popcorn which was currently preparing itself in her microwave. She brushed some water over her face for a third time and then pressed it into the towel on the rack to her right. It had been about three days since her incredible spar with Raph, and she was STILL feeling the afterburn. Turning and walking out towards the kitchen she pressed her hands to her back to have a good long stretch. It would be good to just relax and cozy down with a good film.

Opening the microwave she retrieved the bag and emptied the steaming popcorn into a large metal bowl, popping a piece or two into her mouth and savoring the buttery taste. She took the bowel over to the sofa and sat it on the table at the side, scouring the movies she'd rented on a whim earlier.

"Now, why did I even think of getting this one again?" she asked herself quietly as she discovered a copy of Aliens in her stack. She was a big fan of sci-fi movies, but recalled that this one still gave her the creeps. The big, gooey, drooling, hissing aliens...and the crawly, creepy face-huggers that planted eggs inside--

A rapping at her window startled April so much that she dove behind the couch with a shriek, nearly toppling the popcorn bowl. Peering over the back of the couch warily, she instantly felt ridiculous. Hopping back to her feet, she walked over and unlocked the window, raising it up and open.

"Can I help you?" she asked, embarassed.

"Bad time?" Raphael asked, already thoroughly amused at her oh-so-girly antics.

"I'm just about to sit and watch my movies," she responded, planting her hands on her hips. "That's all."

"Haven't seen you out lately."

"Haven't felt like being anywhere," she replied, simply. "I just want to relax at home. Now, did you need anything?" Apparently, she still hadn't let go of the night prior, considering her attitude.

"Just wondered where you've been...s'all," he replied, a little quieter. "Are you still mad?"

"Me? I don't hold grudges, Raph, you know that." He watched her a moment as if he wasn't sure that was entirely true. April sighed and dropped her arms to her sides in defeat. "Fine... a little... But it's nothing I won't get over. I know you aren't really a jerk...normally. Now would you get in here, you're letting all my heat out."

Raphael did as he was asked and slid in through the window, stepping back to let April close and re-lock it behind him.

"So, you aren't training tonight, then."

"I'm afraid not," she said, with a slight chuckle, returning to her stack of videos to make a choice. "Still recovering. You really gave me a workout, Raph." Raphael fiddled with his sai at his sides at the comment, but made no attempt to really respond. "Movie night, tonight," April continued. "If you want, you can watch with me instead...unless you still have to go train."

Raphael lifted his head and blinked a couple of times at the invitation. "No... not really... I mean.. Sure. Why not?" He rubbed the back of his head and shrugged cooly, moving around to the other side of the sofa where April was.

"Great... So.. I'm thinking this or this," she said, holding up two dvds that looked to be in every which way a couple of chick-flicks. Raphael cleared his throat a little and raised a brow. April looked down at the movies in her hands. "Ah...right... Probably not." She glanced idly at the copy of Aliens on the table. "Well I do have this..."

"Ah! No! Over there! God, just shoot it!!" April squirmed and crouched on the sofa by Raphael and hid her face in her sleeves. She'd been doing this for almost half the movie. Her eyes peeked over her sleeves just to see the Queen alien hissing and spitting. She shoved her face back into her hands and pressed them to Raphael's shoulder. Perhaps this wasn't so bad.

There was a sudden fwoomp and all went dark.

"Ah! What happened...wait! Don't let me look till it's gone!"

"Actually," Raphael hummed. "The power just went." April lifted her head and peered into the dark where she once saw her TV. Everything was black.

"Perfect," she groaned and moved away from him. "Of all the powerlines someone could hit why did it have to be mine? I can't see a thing!"

"Any flashlights?" Raphael offered. He had no problem seeing in the dark. It was a ninja thing.

"Yeah... Just...over there... in the kitchen drawer," she said, suddenly sounding anxious.

"What?"

"Uhm... I ...I think I'll just wait it out right here..."

"There's nothing in your apartment, April," the turtle insisted, amused a little by her antics.

"There's a giant man-turtle in my apartment...why wouldn't there be aliens?" she murmured. In a strange way she had a good point...despite how ridiculous it sounded. "Listen...we'll just sit here... and wait till the power comes back. They should get right on it... in a matter of seconds really."

"O-kay," he hummed, looking at her shadowed figure beside him. She had her legs criss crossed up on the couch and her hands tucked in her lap.

"I must seem silly," she finally said.

"Just a little, but you always are, April." She fake-punched his arm then.

"Be nice to me tonight, jerk."

"I am. That is the extent of my niceness."

"Lucky me." They sat quietly for a moment and Raph tapped his leg with a hand, glancing about the apartment should there actually be face-huggers hiding in April's bookshelves and cupboards. "Raph...?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you want to fight me a couple days ago?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you wanted to fight me...not your brothers. I'm no challenge for you - I know that..."

"...I just wondered what it'd be like with someone different...that's all," he replied quietly, hoping she'd buy that.

"I guess... I was sort of honored that you wanted to." Raphael sat quietly and lowered his eyes a little in the dark, giving his typical silent response. I was honored _you_ wanted to, he wanted to say, but couldn't manage to form the words. Silence ensued for a moment longer. "Can you hand me the popcorn, please?" Raphael jarred himself from his distant thoughts and reached over to relay the bowl to April. "Thanks." He heard the popcorn crunch as she ate a couple pieces. One bounced off the side of his head.

"What was that for?"

"You were supposed to catch it. Come on, Raph, where's the ninja reflexes?" she chuckled and sunk down cozily into her side of the sofa. Another popcorn bit bounced off his nose. "Strike two."

"Stoppit," he replied, grabbing some popcorn and throwing it at her.

"Hah!" she yelped and grabbed a handful, pelting him with the buttery puffs. He scrambled to get some more before she could get another handful. She grappled with him, trying to hold back his shot so she could get hers in first.

"Hey, watch it! I'm gonna have popcorn in my shell for weeks if it gets down there!" He grappled back and April rolled off the sofa to the floor, picking wayward pieces from the carpet and continuing to throw them. Raphael held up the now empty bowl to block.

"Beware of the butteryness!" April said, lowering her voice to make it sound deep and ominous.

"Were you raised in a barn?" Raphael asked, kicking popcorn at her.

"Yes."

"Well, then." He dropped to his knees on the floor to retrieve some ammo and shower her with it. She laughed and scrambled away on all fours, rounding the other side of the couch. She seized a pillow and bounced it off his head before ducking back behind the sofa. "Hey!" He heard her try to stifle a giggle. Crouching, he began to move slowly and silently through the room, so quiet that April began to wonder if he was still there.

"Raph...?" she finally asked. There was no answer. She glanced around in the dark... hearing nothing and seeing very little.

Suddenly, she felt two arms wrap around her from behind and she yelped as she was pulled backward against something hard.

"Gotcha."

"Damnit, Raph! You nearly scared me to death!" she declared and smacked at him best she could while being held and facing away. He chuckled a little and it began to sink in that he was actually holding her. Closely. She was soft to hold, too.

"Sorry," he said lightly.

"Eh, it's fine. I'm just a big 'ole scaredy-cat when it comes to those movies," she chuckled and reached up to pat his arms around her. Her hands rested there a moment and her thumb absently traced the muscle. Then, she too, became aware of her actions and let her hands drop. Despite his reluctance, Raphael let his arms pull back as well, not wanting to appear too forward or awkward. "I think I might just turn in for the evening, Raph. Looks like the power isn't coming back as quickly as I thought," she said softly as they sat there.

"Yeah," he said. April slowly moved to her feet and Raphael followed suit, his hands fiddling with his sai again.

"This was nice. It's been awhile since I had a movie night with anyone besides myself," she said and he could see the shadowed smile on her face. "You really know how to show a girl a good time." Raphael lifted his head, unable to help the look of hopefulness on his face. He was glad that he faced away from the moonlight the window cast in...and that she probably couldn't see it. April reached up and lightly fake-punched his arm again, for good measure. "Let me escort you to the window." Raphael nodded and turned to go. He opened up the window and moved to climb out. No sense in prolonging this and making it awkward. "Hey...!" He hesitated with one knee on the window frame.

April came over and wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug. Raphael felt something leap in his chest and instinctively wrapped his arms back around her to return the gesture.

"Have a good night, okay?" April said before pulling back. All Raph could do was nod before he turned and ventured out the window. April reached up to close it and looked out at him with a smile as he crouched there looking back in. She gave a small wave and he mirrored the action, then watched her turn in the dark and disappear into her apartment.

"Night...," he murmured.


	3. Only

Raphael sat up in bed and swung his legs over the side. It was getting late and the sewer had grown quiet about fifteen minutes earlier. He got up and walked over to the door, peering out in the dark for any signs of his brothers or master. When all seemed clear he took a leap off the balcony railing and landed soundlessly on the floor. With one last glance around he headed for the door.

"Are you sneakin' out again, Raph??"

Raphael felt a shock crawl up his spine and whirled, slamming Michelangelo into the nearest wall and planting a hand over his mouth.

"What are you doing up??" he hissed. Mike lifted the pizza box in his hand defensively and shook Raphael's hand from his face.

"Midnight snack," he said and blinked. "What's up? Are you goin' out for some action??"

"Would you keep it down?" Raph whispered, his eyes darting around. "I'm just goin' for a ride, alright??"

"Cool! Can I come?" Mikey declared. Raphael waved his hands around and clamped them over Michelangelo's mouth again. Why did he have no concept of quiet? Why??

"Shhhshhshhshh! No. I'm goin' alone!" he said.

"Awe...why not?" Mikey pouted. "I never get to ride on your bike... I never get to drive anything...!"

"Mike, listen.. I need you to shut up, okay? It's hard enough gettin' out of here without Leo gettin' on my case.. I don't need the entire place woken up!" He lowered his eyes and gave a deep sigh. He never really felt like he needed to explain his plans to anybody, but Mike was just like any little brother. If he left Mike wondering, chances are he'd get followed. He wasn't sure he could take it if any of them knew where he was planning on going. Normally, it wouldn't be so weird...but at night?

"What's up with you, Raph. You're turnin' all red." Raphael restrained the urge to strangle Mike.

"Listen.. Mike.. I'm gonna tell you where I'm goin'...but you hafta promise me you'll keep your trap shut about it."

Mike paused on the piece of pizza he was knawing, the cheese drooping between his mouth and the slice. Raphael never shared secrets. AWESOME!

"Sure, Raph. Cross my heart n' hope to...well..you know," he grinned.

"I'm goin' ta see April," Raph murmured.

"You're going to the Cedar Grill? Is that a new place?"

"NO!" Raph cringed and quieted himself quickly. "April... I'm going to see AP-RIL." Mike blinked.

"Oooh... Can I come?" Raph smacked a hand against his face.

"No. I'm going to see her alone," he emphasized. Mike looked at him a moment and then in took a big breath.

"Oooooooooooooooh YOU 'an APRIL are goin' on a DATE, huh??!! You sly dog!"

Raphael grew five shades redder. At least Mikey had converted to loud whispering by this point.

"Please...shut up." Mike muffled his mouth and giggled. "You promise to keep your mouth shut??" Mike nodded furiously and saluted...then promptly went back to muffled giggles. Raph shook his head. "One word out of you and you're dead." Turning, he walked as fast as he could out the door. He had to get away from the laughing. Was it such a ridiculous idea? Him and April? Not that he was thinking that, mind you. Oh, not at all. And it wasn't a date. He wasn't going on a date. She didn't even know about it yet... er...the plans...that were not a date. Raph ascended to street level and to the warehouse where they stored his bike and the armored car. Walking over to the motorcycle, he pulled the cover from it and took a seat. Suddenly, he felt better. Nothing like a nice, loud bike to make a guy feel a little less like a pansy. His hands gripped the handles as he revved it up and headed out onto the street.

It wasn't ridiculous... She ...she could have as much interest in him as anybody. It's not like they were THAT different. Raphael had to admit to himself he had entertained thoughts before. April was an attractive female...and spicy to boot. He adored her attitude...her dedication...friendship...and, well...everything.

"Damnit," he cursed under his breath as he rode along. Even if he told himself that what he thought of April was fine and dandy, what would she think if she knew? Wouldn't it make sense? She was really the only woman they ever talked to... What else could she expect? Even so...did she ever think that way about them...? About him?

Casey Jones had been in the picture for awhile and it was annoyingly hard to compete with him in a field like that. He basically had the same attitude that Raphael had, too...but he was ..well, human. The only problem was that Casey had a bad habit of ticking April off with little effort. He would say or do something that would send her into a rage, like a couple nights ago...and she would fume about it for days or weeks depending on how bad it was. They always ended up back together for some reason. Raphael liked Casey well enough, they had a lot of common interests. This particular one, however, wasn't something Raphael really wanted to share.

He slowed his bike and drifted into the alley by April's apartment, glancing up at her window and letting the engine rumble to a halt. His hands gripped the handles mildly. This was so frustrating! He just wanted to hit something! What if! What if?!

"Raph??" The turtle's mind cleared at the sound of his name from above and he saw April leaning out her window. "I thought I recognized that bike."

"April...!" he called.

"Just a sec - I'll be right down!" He nodded and pretty soon April rounded the corner of the building to greet him.

"I thought you mighta been asleep by now," he said.

"I wasn't feeling very tired," she said, tucking her hands into the pockets of her hooded jacket as she came to stand by him. "But, I suppose you never are." Raphael chuckled.

"Naw. I think I'm completely nocturnal now." He looked at her and she smiled, causing him to turn his head a little. Neither said a word for a moment.

"So..what-"

"Did you-" They said simultaneously.

"You first," April chuckled.

"Right. Uh. Did you wanna...go for a ride with me?" he managed, much to his relief.

"Seriously? You never let anyone ride your bike, Raph," she teased, raising a brow at him.

"Always a first time," he shrugged, trying to keep it casual.

"Sure.. Why not?" she finally responded and moved behind him to get on. One small problem, Raphael's shell didn't offer her much room to sit or anything to really hang on to. "I'm not sure this is gonna work, Raph."

"No, no. We're good," he insisted and slipped off the seat, ushering her forward and taking a seat behind her. _I won't give up that easy!_ April scooted forward and Raph patted the handle bars. "Hands up here." She placed her hands there and he rested his own slightly to the side of them. "Good?"

"Good," April nodded. Raph nodded and revved the bike up, speeding it out onto the back roads. April yelped a little at the initial rush and then straightened up once the momentum had steadied. "Hoo.."

"Sorry 'bout that," Raph said lightly. "Usually just me."

"No, it's fine," April responded, leaning back into him a little bit for comfort's sake. If he hadn't been there she would have felt like she might fly off the bike at any second. Raph quietly let out a deep sigh. This was the best idea ever. "What brought this on, anyway?"

"Just wanted to get out," he replied, figuring that was as good an excuse as any. April nodded, seemingly satisfied. Raphael pondered a moment at how ready she seemed to get out of the apartment. It was like she had been ready the moment he'd gotten there - like she'd been expecting it. He had been visiting her a little more regular than usual...maybe she just figured he'd show up again. What made him anxious was the fact she seemed...happy to see him.

He shifted a little behind her and inched his hands on the handles over top hers. "Ready?"

"For?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at him. He grinned and rolled the handles, sending the bike screeching forward on one wheel. April screamed. The front tire contacted asphalt again after a few seconds and the bike sped along a little faster. April had sunk down against him and he looked at her. Her eyes were wide with surprise.

"Come on, that's not safe," he chuckled, using one hand to tug her back up into a proper sitting position. He slowed the bike a little and left one arm around her waist for a moment longer than he needed to.

"That was soooo...mean," April huffed a breath...but she grinned at the same time.

"I know. I'm just full of it," Raph said. By this point they had come to Central Park, where he brought the bike to a halt and let the engine die. Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arm from April's waist and got off the bike. She followed him, rubbing her legs a little to get the wobble out of them. The park was fairly deserted at this time of the night, if you knew which parts to go to. The night was fair and only a little chilled, a small breeze causing the trees to rustle.

Raph moved to lean against the trunk of one of the trees and crossed his arms.

"April...?"

"Yeah?" she asked, tucking her hands in her pockets again. Raphael closed his eyes and bowed his head a little.

"You 'n Casey... kinda been going together awhile, right?"

"Pft. I guess. We've broken up more times than we've made up. I'm not sure what you'd call that," she said, waving a hand dismissively.

"But he made you happy, right?" He said, lifting his head a little.

"Sometimes, yeah," she admitted. "There's always good parts to relationships or else you wouldn't be in them...well..most people anyway. Honestly, the last couple of nights have been the most fun I've had in awhile, Raph." Raphael looked at her fully now.

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm. You're a blast when you want to be." Raphael resisted the urge to puff out his chest and strut.

"We've known each other awhile...I mean.. us.. uh..the guys and I, I mean," he said and mentally kicked himself for throwing in the last bit. _Just be direct, you idiot!_

"Seems like ages," April said, with another of her charming smiles...which wasn't helping Raph's heart keep quiet.

"Well... I mean.. what if... Did you ever consider..." _For cripes sake, spit it out!_ "Mikey?" _WHAT?! No! That's not what I meant!!!_

"Michelangelo?" April asked, raising her eyebrows. "Mikey?" She chuckled a little. "That's silly." Raphael cursed in his head and bit his tongue in frustration so hard it hurt. "I don't think we'd ever work out, for obvious reasons." His teeth clenched a little and it was all he could do to not want to tear into the tree behind him.

"Right...Obvious."

"Far too rambunctious...," she touched her fingers to her lips and smiled at the idea, hugging herself with the other arm. "I don't think I could handle all that energy." She shook her head and looked at Raph again. "Are you okay?"

"Henh??" Raphael looked at her, eyes wide, having broke a small sweat. "M'fine."

"Oh, no..." April said, stepping close to him. "I'm sorry. That was rude, wasn't it? If Michelangelo has a crush on me... I... I promise I can let him down easy, Raph. I wouldn't dream of hurting your brother," she insisted frantically. Raphael finally let out a breath that he'd been holding and looked at her.

"Mikey doesn't have a crush on you," he finally said. April opened her mouth silently and nodded, pressing a hand to her forehead in relief.

"Ohhh, thank god. I was worried that you came here to tell me for him and that I'd gone and been all heartless and laughed about it. Mikey is sweet, really... I adore him..but ...honestly," she said, smiling crookedly. "What?" Raphael was looking at her rather intently.

"But it doesn't...bug you."

"What?"

"That...well...," he gestured at himself.

"Well.. I admit it's a little ..different... And... pursuing something like that would be...strange.. but.. I mean. You guys are my best friends... Should that really matter...?" she said lightly. Raphael felt like he was going to collapse.

"April..."

"Yeah?"

"I...m...glad you feel that way," he said.

She nodded again. "Are you sure you're okay. You look like you're going to be sick."

"I'm not sure I won't be," he admitted. "Let me take you home..." April hesitated a moment and then nodded. Had she said something wrong? Raphael climbed on the bike after she had taken her seat in front of him, his stomach in utter knots. The ride back was done in a somewhat awkward silence. April tried to get something from Raphael's body language while they rode, but nothing came. The time when they rounded into the alley came all too soon. "Here you go." April sat on the bike a moment and glanced over her shoulder at him. She shifted so she could face him sideways.

"Did I do something, Raph?" He looked at her a moment, his expression unusually soft, then shook his head. April's brows curved upward, concerned. "Is there anything I can do...?" she offered. Plenty, he thought, but his tongue had gone to rubber at this point.

"Can I hold you?" he asked quietly. April tilted her head at the request.

"I suppose so," she responded and turned a little further, extending her arms. He wrapped his arms around her form and pulled her close. He rested his nose against her hair. April tilted her head against his, chin on his shoulder. Raphael needed hugs?...Why not? Didn't everyone? She tightened her hug a little bit. Whatever he needed it for...it was important. "You know, you didn't have to ask."

Raphael brought a hand to the small of her back and let his fingers brush there. April leaned back a little to look at him in the eyes, bringing a hand up to brush his cheek.

"Well, you feel better...," she said with a light smile. Her eyes watched his a moment, searching. "Raph...?"

"Hn?" he asked.

"Why did you ask me that?"

He couldn't say it. Why couldn't he say it? Why wouldn't his tongue work?

After a moment of silence, April nodded. "It's gonna be okay, Raph. I promise." She leaned around and kissed him on the cheek, and his head moved a little, wanting to have that kiss...but he stopped himself and let it go where it was intended. When she pulled back, she smiled again and pulled from him, sliding from the bike. "Don't be a stranger, okay?" He managed to nod and watched as she turned, with a small wave...to disappear around the corner and go home.

He sat there a moment, still. After April had basically admitted she would consider being with them...why was he still afraid? He wasn't supposed to be afraid of anything. Did humans have this problem, too - where everything stopped working. If he didn't have the control he could have easily turned into an awkward mess. But she let him...didn't she? She kissed him...didn't she? Why not?

Why not...?


	4. Flower

She listened until she heard the sound of his bike speeding off into the night. She had thought of running right to the window after entering her apartment to wave one more time but had stopped herself at the door. Tossing her house keys onto the table by the couch she pulled her jacket off and tossed it over the armchair near the bookcase. Her legs led her to her bedroom numbly and she promptly flopped onto her bed with a small breath.

April couldn't be entirely certain what was wrong with Raphael - he was hard person to read...but she had her suspicions. Had she ever considered? His question echoed in her head. He had never been asking for anyone's sake but his own, she decided. Her mind whirled, trying to figure out where to start. Well, had she?

Yes... Of course.

They were her best friends... She loved them all, but just how much? Could she ever go farther than she already had? She had told Raphael that their differences should not stand between them...and she meant it still. But when it came down to really facing the possibilities...it felt very different. How would they date? Always hiding in the shadows, or in disguise? Could they ever really be intimate anywhere but in secret? It pained April that for every part of a relationship she considered, she found a wall...for everything but one.

Love. Love could be genuine no matter what.

But how could you nurture it properly...hiding all the time?

She rolled to her side and hugged her pillow under her head.

If she decided to invest herself in any of the turtles, she always knew it would have to be entirely. These were four brothers who had no one but each other and their master. Their love was that of a close-knit family. There was no one like them. The potential for a different love was slim, if not in danger of being one sided. April knew that if any of them were to find a mate, it would be for life...and any of them would fight for it as if their lives depended on it. There was no in between... She could not embrace them and then change her mind...without some very damaging results.

Why was she generalizing anyway? It was Raphael she should think of. A loose canon on his own, he would no doubt take rejection the hardest. He might even withdraw inside himself and his rage worse.

But if it worked out...? Somehow?

The way he held her... She never knew Raph to be so gentle. Her cheeks flushed as the remembered the moment down to every last detail. Did he really feel for her so? Of all of them, would his be the heart that tried so hard to love her and not love her at the same time? It must be frustrating, she imagined. Knowing Raphael, he probably toiled over the emotions and tried to deny them as hard as he tried to deny caring at all. April knew how that was...and how much it hurt sometimes. Casey made her feel that way when he pulled one of his stunts. When he did she would wind up every strand of feelings she had for him and toss them in the corner of her heart, hopefully to be forgotten.

Then he'd show up and they'd unfurl and make a god awful mess.

"Raph, what am I going to do with you?" she murmured to herself. What if it all went wrong?

What if it all went right?

* * *

"Where have you been all night?" Leo piped up as he saw Raphael crossing the living room, heading for his personal abode. 

"Out," Raphael gave his typical short-handed answer and continued towards his room. He heard Michelangelo snort back a giggle. Leo glanced at him and Mike shifted, pressing the volume up on the remote for the TV.

"S'funny stuff... I love that Letterman...," he covered up and pressed his hand to his mouth. Leo raised a brow and then looked back at his brother.

"We're supposed to do meditation this morning, Raph." Raphael stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder.

"I'll do it later," he huffed.

"You know we do meditation as a family," came Splinter's voice as he exited his own room and stood at the steps. "If you consider yourself fit to sneak out all night, then you are also fit enough to do your training before returning to bed. Raphael muffled an annoyed groan and turned to face his master.

"Yes...sensei," he said, unable to hide all the bitterness in his voice. Splinter was pretty much used to it at this point, and didn't make much of it. He turned and his sons followed him to their meditation circle, taking their usual seats in a row before him.

"Take a deep breath and relax...concentrate...focus...," Splinter hummed softly. Raphael closed his eyes, but he just couldn't get his muscles to relax. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to go to bed... he wanted to sleep...perchance to dream. It was the only place that he knew what to say to her...where he didn't make a complete ass of himself. The sooner he got to bed, the sooner it was tomorrow. The sooner it was tomorrow, the sooner he could see April again. Maybe he could tell her right...

Splinter cleared his throat and Raph snapped to, looking at him. He closed his eyes again and tried to at least feign that he was meditating, even though his mind was so far from it. Splinter was quite aware at how distracted Raphael seemed. It wasn't entirely out of the ordinary for him. Often times he seemed to have the attention span for meditation that Michelangelo had for anything. There was something different in him now, though. He didn't give off the same energy as he would have if it he was anxious due to some sort of rage boiling inside him. No... This was something new entirely. What was that he sensed? Smelled? ...Pheromones?

Now, Splinter knew his sons were just like any other male of any species. They, too, emitted pheromones at certain times of the year - a natural call to the mates that would never come. What boggled him is it wasn't just Raph's pheromones he was smelling...

"Very good, my sons... You are dismissed for now...," he said after he was satisfied with the session. Moving to his feet slowly, he watched as the turtles dispersed and Raphael made for his room.

Leonardo, who had been following his master's gaze, crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Sometimes I wonder about him, Sensei... He's so sporadic...And now he's out all night and sleeping all day again... He doesn't even want to spar with us anymore," he said.

"I wouldn't be too concerned this time, Leonardo," Splinter hummed. "I do not think Raphael is getting himself into the same trouble that you might be suspecting.

"What do you mean?" the blue masked turtle asked, blinking.

"We shall see," Splinter replied, cryptically, though his rodent lips curled into a knowing smile. He turned and entered his quarters without so much as another word.

* * *

"And then he said 'We shall see'." 

"Well, if Master Splinter isn't worried about it, I don't think we should be, Leo," Don replied to Leo's concern as he sat at his workbench, tinkering with his latest toys.

"Well, if it isn't a worry why can't he just tell us?"

"Becauuuse, it's a secret!" Mikey sang from the couch. Leo and Don raised brows simultaneously and then looked at each other. Leonardo sauntered over to the couch and leaned against the back.

"What do you know, Mike?" he asked.

"Uh?" Michelangelo tried to look like he didn't know what Leo was referring to, realizing the error of his statement.

"What secret is Raphael hiding from us?"

"It wouldn't be a secret if I told ya, Leo. 'Sides...Raph made me promise," Mikey replied, looking away from his elder brother.

"I'm just worried, okay? I want to make sure he's not getting himself into trouble."

"I hardly think April is gonna get Raph into trouble, dude...," he responded and then clamped his hands over his mouth. "Oops."

"April?" Don asked, raising a brow again. "Raphael is going out to see April every night?"

"Noooo," Mikey hummed, rolling his eyes to the side.

"Why would he do that? We can go see her anytime...," Leo said.

"Maybe he wanted to see her...by himself," Donatello mused as he looked over his plans again.

"By...himself..." Leonardo squinted and tried to grasp that, or at least what it most likely meant. "You don't think Raph is..."

"Probably not... I mean she's sort of seeing Casey..," Don responded factually. Michelangelo nodded, hoping they would just go with that thought so he wouldn't get in trouble with Raph for breaking his promise.

"Maybe..they're like...training together or something," he offered. Leonardo pondered things for a moment. It was possible, though it was tough picturing the hardcore Raphael training with April without breaking her arms and legs. As far as he knew April hadn't been in the hospital recently. And what if Raphael WAS going to see her for...other reasons? And what about Casey? If Raph and Casey were vying for April at the same time? He dreaded the thought. What he dreaded more was the thought of his brother crawling in one morning with his dreams shattered. He would never be the same then - and it was hard enough to keep him under control already.

"This is too weird," he muttered, and rubbed his face with a hand.

"Why?" Don asked. "Can't tell me you never thought about it, Leo." Leo furrowed his brow and promptly turned red.

"Dude, of course! April's hot..," Michelangelo threw in and chuckled. The three turtles sat in silence for a moment, each turning their own respective shade of purple.

"Okay, okay, stop it, guys," Leonardo said, waving his hands and shaking his head.

"Yeah... No fantasizin' 'bout Raph's girlfriends, dudes...," Mikey reinforced.

"She's not his girlfriend, Mike... No need to rub it in his face...," Leo insisted. Michelangelo shrugged. He was pretty much sure that April WAS Raph's girlfriend by now.

"What do we say to him?"

"We don't have to say anything, Leo," Don said. "If he wants to tell us... he will." Leonardo nodded and cleared his throat, promptly turning to go do some training or something productive to get the pictures out of his head.

"Leo's a perv," Mikey snorted with a laugh.

* * *

He had come up with the perfect idea. He would bring her something nice when he saw her tonight. Surely that would be a good enough lead in to what he had to tell her. The real question was what should be bring? What was it that they did in all those movies? Not that he ever WATCHED those movies, mind you. He'd just happened to be passing by when they were on the TV. Yes, that was it. 

Flowers. Raphael was certain he'd seen flowers more than anything else. But what kind of flowers would be appropriate? Hm. Maybe he had better have a look around upstairs. It might give him a few ideas. Nodding with conviction, he grabbed the trench coat and hat off the rack in his room and threw them on. The place was quiet, almost unusually so. Not even Michelangelo was snoozing on the couch, exhausted from one of his television marathons. Oh, well. There was no reason to question a blessing, after all. Raphael hurried out and headed up to street level.

Little did he know that his brothers were not in bed tonight, and they weren't far behind him when he left.

Raphael could barely make himself move fast enough on the way to April's apartment. Tucked under his arm he had a parcel, careful to keep a tight grip on it and not lose it in his frenzy to arrive sooner. Along the way he managed to lose his hat to the breeze, but decided against retrieving it. A couple of buildings behind him, Leonardo picked up the tattered hat and looked at it in surprise.

"He sure is in a hurry, isn't he?" he said, looking after his brother.

"Ah, but love is the caffiene of a groggy heart," Mikey said, striking a poetic pose. Donatello looked at him with a crooked smile.

"That was...ALMOST eloquent, Mikey."

"Thank you, thank you," he said, taking his bows.

* * *

Raphael sprinted along and finally landed on the rooftop of April's apartment building, disgarding the coat there where he could pick it up later. He held the box in both hands and took a deep breath.

"Okay... This is it, Raph... Don't screw it up." He reached up and made sure his mask was straight before he descended the ladder to the balcony's below, his gift in tow. When he got to April's window he peered inside quietly, trying to see if she was still awake. Luckily, it seemed she was reading a book while lounging on the sofa. Raphael tapped at the window and caught her attention to which she set the book aside and came to unlock the window.

"Hi," he said once the window was open. Good start. Simple. Smooth. Yeah.

"Hi," she replied with a crooked smile.

"Can I come in...?" he asked. April nodded and stepped back so he could do so, closing the window behind him.

"You look like you feel better tonight, Raph. I'm glad," she admitted. He nodded once to affirm her thoughts, still half cradling his package. "So, what brings you?" Her eyes darted to the package a little curiously. Her heart thumped a little harder in her chest, anxious at where this could be going. She'd pretty much revved herself up all day today since her long inner-therapy last night. Was she ready for anything like she hoped?

"April...," Raph said. "I thought I augtta... I mean...well..," he murmured, lowering his eyes again and fiddling with the package. Not now! Not the tongue tripping!

"Is that for me?" April interjected with a light point. Raphael could have kissed the woman right then. He would have kissed her for many reasons, but this was one of the reasons he loved her so. She made things a hell of a lot easier. He gave another silent nod and lifted the box up for her. April smiled lightly. What could she say? She loved getting presents. Reaching up, she took it carefully into her hands. "That's very sweet of you." Raphael glanced up and tried his best to maintain eye contact this time. He nodded only slightly and crossed his arms, watching her to see what she thought when she opened it.

April's fingers brushed the lid of the box and she was about to reveal the gift when she heard the door buzzer.

"Who could that be at this hour?" she said, seemingly annoyed. Raphael mimicked her frustration, though he merely did it with a scowl. With the gift still in tow, she strode to the door to see who it was - and take a chunk out of them for coming by so late.

"Heyyy, Gorgeous!"

"Casey," April said flatly.

"Aw, dun gimme that look, sweetheart...," he said with a grin. "Can I come in?"

"I have company," she replied, sourly.

"Not another guy, I hope," he chuckled, though his eyes peeked over April's head just to be sure. Catching sight of Raphael he brushed past April and lifted his hand. "Heyyy... I haven't seen you in awhile, bud! Giving up the midnight vigilente gig so easy?" Raphael did not raise his hand to return Casey's gesture for a high-five.

"I think I've grown out of it," he said simply.

"Eh...Well.. To each his own, I guess," he chuckled again. "You must be up here protectin' April for me, at least." The turtle was ready to reply in a not-quite-so-nice manner when his eyes finally caught sight of what Casey was flinging around in his other hand. He clenched his teeth so hard it hurt.

"Casey, what are you--?" April demanded when she was interrupted by a flurry of flowers in her face. "What are these for?"

"For you. To say 'I'm sorry'," he said, as a matter of factly. April looked a little bewildered a moment and Raphael felt as though he might explode.

"Funny how easy it is for you to say that these days," she finally said and pushed the flowers back into his chest. "Flowers have begun to lose their meaning to me with how you just toss them around, Casey Jones."

Had he been wrong? Raphael was suddenly caught between nervousness and rage. He wanted to pummel Casey into the wall and he wanted to just leave all at once. The only thing that kept him there was April. He wanted as much time with her as possible. What to do...?

"What's goin' on?" Leo whispered from above as Mikey peered into April's window, hiding the best he could.

"Well... Raph was like 'Here Sweet-Thang, this is for you.' and April was all like 'Ooooh, that's soooo sweet, I could KISS you!' and then she was like 'Oopsie! Someone's at the door!' and then Casey was like 'Hiiii I'm so butch, I am here and watch me dance with these flowers!' and then April got all angry like 'I don't like your flower dance, Casey! You suck!' ...and Raph is all like 'Grrrrr, I wanna hit something!' You know. Typical." Donnie and Leo glanced at each other, confused at the pictures forming in their heads now.

"Casey's there? This isn't going to end well," Donatello said, pressing a hand to his forehead.

"I think you should go, Jones," Raphael said, stepping forward.

"Eh..? Right," he chuckled. "Don't worry about April, Raph. She always get's riled up like this."

"Excuse me?" April huffed.

"Yeah? Probably 'cause she don't like you!" he huffed and shoved Casey back a few steps.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Casey said, waving his hands, flowers included. "All fun aside, Raph. This ain't a joke, alright? Just take off so I can talk to her."

"Maybe she don't wanna talk to you," Raphael growled, his hands moving mere inches from his sai. April saw this and took a deep breath, still holding Raphael's package to her chest.

"Uh..Raph?" she piped up. He tilted his head slightly in her direction, but kept most of his attention on Casey. "Can you...can you take this and put it in my bedroom, please?" she asked, holding up his gift. Raphael didn't make any attempt to move and April panicked a little. She moved around in front of him and looked at him, offering up the package again. "Please?" He looked at her directly now. "Just...go set it on my table.. and I'll be in there in a minute." Raphael watched her eyes and tried to read them. Despite all his better judgement, he took the package and nodded once, turning and heading for her bedroom, though not before giving Casey the evil eye at its worst.

April watched him vanish down the hall and reeled on Casey.

"You need to go. Now," she said with finality.

"What? Why? Cause he says so? What's up with you, April?"

"Nothing! Just...go!" she huffed, shoving him towards the door and finally out so she could close it behind her. Brushing a hand over her forehead and through her hair she let out a deep breath. This was no good. The minute Casey showed up it was like Raphael's fuse grew ten times shorter. She had been afraid that she wouldn't be able to get Casey out of the apartment...then who knows what would have happened. Biting her lip, she walked down the hall to her bedroom where she found Raphael standing with the package still in his hands. The corners of the box were denting with the intensity of his grip. "I'm sorry about that, Raphael. I didn't expect him to show up like that."

"Hmn," he murmured, too pissed off to really respond. Luckily, it wasn't her he wanted to hurt. April approached him and reached up to take her gift again, which he let go instantly. The gesture brought him back to clear reality and he began to watch her as she opened the box.

"Oh...," she said lightly, looking inside. Gingerly reaching in she pulled out a single, crystal lily. It was finely sculpted, with the tiniest details in the leaves and petals. It glimmered and shone with the light from the window. "This is so...beautiful."

"I figured you like antique stuff...so..," he said quietly. "But...I guess it don't mean much now."

"Mmm? Oh... Oh, no. What I said before," she shook her head. "No, this means the world to me, Raph." She held the flower to her chest a moment and smiled at him. "It's absolutely perfect." Raphael tilted his head and looked at her sideways. "Really."

A light smile crossed Raph's mouth then, and he could feel his face heating up just a bit. "Good."

"I feel bad. I didn't get you anything," she said with a chuckle.

"Don't worry about it," he said, honestly. Her smile was more than enough. "I should go."

"Oh..?" April was suddenly a little disappointed.

"Yeah.. I need to go hit somethin' or I'm gonna go crazy," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head. It was a little embarassing. April, on the other hand, felt guilty that she'd let Casey get him so riled up.

"Please don't let Casey bother you. He's just a...neanderthal," she said with a shrug. Raphael nodded once and turned to walk past her into the hall and back towards the living room. He didn't really want to go, but it was true that he felt a little bit hot-headed at the moment. He also felt that things were probably going as well as they could for now, and he didn't want the chance to ruin them. April followed him to the window, carrying her flower the whole way.

"You have a good night, alright?" he said, opening up the window. She nodded and watched him a moment, glancing at his gift every now and again.

"Raph?"

"Yeah?"

He couldn't breathe all of a sudden. He couldn't move. Everything just ceased to exist - everything but her. He felt her hand at his cheek and her lips agaisnt his, but that was all. That was all he needed. His eyes, which were wide upon first contact, closed and took in the feeling. He had thought of this a million times before, but now...he was almost certain it was a dream.

April had thought of this, too. She wasn't entirely sure of all the mechanics of it, or how it would feel, or if she should. But as she had said, the gift meant the world to her. It said so much about Raphael, then. All the doubt had been washed away and she knew she wanted to give him something back. What better than this? It was different than kissing another human, but nothing majorly awkward...and it felt good in a new way entirely. When she felt the shuddery sigh against her mouth she knew she had done something good for him, and for herself.

They finally separated, and Raph wanted to kiss her again immediately. April looked at him, and they both watched each other for some sort of resolution. Is this right, they asked silently.

"WOOOO! RAPH, GOOOO!" Both of them jumped and Raphael looked upward, turning every possible shade of red. Above, Leonardo and Donatello gripped Mike and pulled him downward, shushing him frantically.

"Oh, boy," April sighed. Raphael glanced at April and chuckled, despite all his embarassment. He narrowed his eyes.

"Well... I think I've found something to work out my frustration on," he said. "I'll see you...soon." She nodded and brought her hand to her mouth as she grinned, for many reasons. Raphael's face melded into a rather murderous expression as he flipped up and began to scale the side of the building. April watched him go and closed the window behind him.

"Don't kill 'em, Raph...," she said to herself and looked at her flower again. "Splinter will never let you out of the sewer."


	5. Pursue

"Please?"

"No."

"Even just a little bit?"

"No."

"Aw, come on, Raph! Unless you want me to go kiss April to find out for myself," Mikey teased, turning as if to go do just that. Raphael grabbed the back of his shell and made him sit back down on the edge of the building. He crossed his arms back over his chest.

"I can't really describe it, Mikey," he said vaguely.

"Sure you can! Here, I'll make it easy. Just fill in the blank - 'The kiss was --?"

Raphael looked over at Michelangelo crookedly.

"Sweet? Sour? Squishy?" Mike offered.

"It was ...like a kiss," his brother said helplessly.

"So... The whole world melted around you and it seemed as though there was nothing but the beating of her heart and your own. Your lips touched and it was soft and sweet like the song of a dove perched on the branches of a peach tree...just burst into bloom?"

"...What?" Raphael asked, stupified.

"You know... like they say in those romance books... You know ...where the girls on all the covers look like they're always fainting," Mike said with a knowing nod.

"You've been reading romance novels?

"Dude... I may be a hardcore, badass ninja...but I am a gentleman at heart," he replied, closing his eyes and pressing his hand dramatically to his chest. "Besides... those girls are hot."

"Right," Raphael chuckled, shaking his head. "I ...guess that's how you might describe it...if you were a pansy."

"Raph, dude... Everyone's a pansy to you," Mike pointed out. "Though... I can't picture you so badass after you were making out with April." Raphael promptly pulled Michelangelo in a headlock.

"We were NOT making out! And that don't change anythin' about me, got it??" he said, squeezing a little. Michelangelo flailed his arms a little and tried to unlodge his head from his brother's rock hard grip.

"Uncle! Uncle! I get it!" he declared until Raphael let go so he could take a deep breath. "So...are you guys like...boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Raphael rested his hands on his legs and looked out over the city, seeming a little put off by the question. He was thankful that the question was put on hold due to the resounding noise of sirens in the distance. "Looks like we're gonna be busy tonight," Mikey grinned.

Raphael and Michelangelo hopped to their feet and took off over the rooftops, diving down into the shadows of the alleys halfway to their destination. Raph was hoping that there would be plenty of thugs tonight, he was feeling up for a good bout of exercise to get out all this excess excitement he was feeling. He wasn't used to having his stomach in this sort of knot.

By the time the brothers got to the source of the sirens they were greeted with an overwhelmingly large fire consuming what was discovered to be a downtown museum. They peered out from the dark, the flames illuminating their figures from across the street in short bursts. The street was blockaded with police cars and fire engines, people screaming as another window burst out and showered glass onto the sidewalk.

"Did we miss the party?" Mike asked, his expression bewildered and eyes intent on the size of the flames.

"Don't know," Raph replied vaguely, his eyes scanning the scene for any sign of the people responsible for the incident. It was a little difficult with all the distractions crowding the street and in the end he gave up trying. "It didn't take us that long to get here... This fire just started."

"But how could it consume the building so fast? Most of it is stone, right?" Michelangelo offered, looking to his brother for answers he could not conjure for himself.

"That's the million dollar question, there," came a third voice. The two glanced behind them to see that the hockey masked Casey had joined them on the scene, his sports gear in tow.

"Did you see who did this, Casey?" Mike asked.

"I got here before the cops, as usual," he replied. "But in just enough time to see the first explosion." He leaned on the hockey stick he had out at ready.

"And you didn't go after the culprits?" Raphael jabbed, irritated.

"There wasn't anyone to go after. I watched the whole scene and not a person walked away from the site," Casey replied, noting the tone in Raph's voice and matching it with some annoyance of his own.

"Yeah, well, they coulda been hiding in some building close by. It could have been a pre-set bomb," Raphael pointed out, muttering under his breath.

"So, what, am I Superman alluva sudden?" Casey replied, lifting his arms. "Last I checked I didn't have the x-ray vision to check out all those buildings. I woulda thought you'd end up with that, what with the mutant goo and all." Raphael snorted loudly.

"Yeah, man. Why can't we fly or turn invisible or anything?" Michelangelo piped up, his love for comic book lore quickly overruning his perception of the tense situation.

"We aught to tell Splinter about this," Raphael suddenly said and both Mike and Casey gawked at him a little bit. It was not quite the norm for Raphael to suggest they tell Splinter anything OR get the other brothers involved. He was, after all, a lone wolf by choice. He looked to his younger brother purposefully. "Go on, Mikey. Someone needs to stay here in case someone turns up." Michelangelo looked at his brother a moment, still a little bit weirded out at his sudden act of responsibility, but soon turned with a nod and bounded off into the dark to do as asked. Once he was gone, Raphael turned back to the corner of the alleyway to check things out again. In truth, he didn't expect to see anything, but he didn't exactly feel like looking at Casey.

"I'm startin' to really believe you got knocked on the head or somethin'," Casey hummed, leaning against the other wall across from Raph. "I mean, first you get all up in my face about April...and now you're actin' like Leo."

"Didn't ask for a psycho-analysis, alright? Look, I got this taken care of. Why don't you take off?"

"See, now that sounds like you," Casey replied, not ready to be brushed off so easily by Raph's offish attitude. He never was. They stood a moment in silence with only the roar of the fire clogging the air. It disturbed Raphael a little that it hadn't seemed to die down in the least in the minutes passed. Despite the fact there was some flammable material inside, it seemed like the fire just wouldn't quit. Maybe it was all his imagination, though. Maybe time had started to drag. "So, really...what is up your--?"

"Shh," Raphael hissed.

"What? Just tryin' to make some-."

"Would you shut up?" Raphael whispered loudly and then gestured with his head to one of the rooftops across the street near the museum.

"Now...if that ain't a suspicious character I don't know what is," Casey hummed quietly as he squinted and peered across the street. It was true. New York had had it's share of colorful criminals but this one seemed to stand out just a bit from your regular punk. From what Raph and Casey could tell, it was a tall, lean man clothed in skin-tight light armor. He was bald and a ninja mask covered everything below his eyes. He did not stay at the scene of the crime long, and turned in the depths of the night to bound off to somewhere ahead of them.

Instinctively, both Raphael and Casey moved to follow, intent on not losing their suspect. They took to the tops of ajoining buildings across the street and sprinted along at almost inhuman speed. Even though New York remained illuminated in synthetic light, their prey stuck very closely to the thin shadows in his path. Raphael cursed under his breath as he came close to losing track of the figure altogether. He managed to find it again and pushed forward harder so as to close the gap and keep his sights on the man. He paid no attention to Casey or even bothered to check if the vigilante had kept up. If he turned his head for a second to check he was sure he'd lose the guy altogether.

Raphael was just nearing the edge of another rooftop when he was suddenly assaulted from behind, feeling a harsh blow to his shell that made him fall short of his jump and sent him careening down into the alley below. He smacked face first into the brick wall and bounced back into the one across the way, coming to a rough halt on his stomach in a smelly puddle on the alley floor.

Cursing under his breath, he moved quickly to his feet. How had he not felt that coming? How did this guy get behind him so fast. Raph was almost certain he'd seen him ahead mere seconds before, yet there he was. As soon as Raph lifted his eyes to the alley ahead of him he saw the ninja standing there, otherworldly stark white eyes glaring down at him.

"Think you're pretty slick, doncha?" Raphael huffed. He barely managed to get out the last word before he was back-handed across the face, sending him backward a few steps. No matter how he taunted he already had to admit, at the very least, that this bastard was fast. The ninja said nothing, only narrowed his eyes at the turtle before he turned and darted off into the dark again. Raphael hadn't exactly expected this since his opponent had seemingly issued the challenge to a fight - and then run away? It rather miffed him. "Get back here!" He raced after the unknown, intent on causing some major injuries whether it was the culprit of the museum explosion or not.

He ran through the back allies in the directions he was almost certain he heard the ninja go, and was just about to give it up when he rounded a corner and barrelled into Casey. The two stumbled and instinctively took offensive positions before they realized who each other was.

"Not you!" Raphael exclaimed.

"Real happy to see you too, Raph," Casey replied, sourly. He looked about as happy to find Raph as the latter did to find him. "Did you see where baldy went?"

"I did until he ran off that way!" Raphael replied, gesturing to the alley behind Casey.

"He wasn't goin' that way, he was going THAT way!" Casey insisted, jabbing his finger in the opposite direction. "I just CAME from that way!"

"And I just came from THAT way!"

"And you didn't see him?"

"No, because I was chasing him THAT way!" Raph pointed out again.

"That's impossible!" Casey replied, though he looked as though he wasn't sure it was.

"Damn it," Raph fumed.

Something started to beep. For a moment, both warriors looked puzzled, and then Raphael realized it was coming from him. He reached down and pulled the small communicator phone from his belt that Donny had made for the crew. He never used the thing, but they all insisted he carry it. Opening it up he poked around the buttons until his brother finally illuminated the mini-screen.

"Yeah, what?" he greeted, not so warmly.

"Happy to see you too," Donny replied. "We got word from Mikey about what was going on. Have you found anything out yet?"

"Yeah... A whole lotta nothin'," Raph hummed. "Was trackin' some guy but completely lost him out here." He cleared his throat a little, purposely neglecting to include the bit about getting snuck up on and knocked in the head.

"Any idea what the explosion was about?"

"How'm I sposed to know?" he replied. "Maybe he just likes blowin' things up."

"Maybe... but why a museum?" Donny asked, more himself than his brother. "I think I'm gonna do some research on the museum and see exactly what they were displaying there. Maybe they were looking for something important. ...Raph?...Raphael?" Donatello glanced waywardly back at the communicator screen to the left of his computer screen where he had pulled up some databases. The screen had gone fuzzy and Raphael had failed to respond. Donatello narrowed his eyes and peered at the screen a little longer, only to discover nothing through the static beyond the floor of the alley. "Um, guys?"

Leo and Mikey glanced over from the sofa where they had been formulating their own theories about the explosion.

"I think we have a problem," Donny said.

"What's up?" Leonardo said, walking over, followed by his younger brother.

"Raph's gone."


	6. Veins

He didn't know where he was. He could barely even SEE where he was at first. His vision blurred and swam so badly that he had to close his eyes and lay still a moment longer.

Once his head seemed to have leveled itself, Raphael pressed himself up to a sitting position against something solid. He attempted to recollect just what had happened prior to blacking out but couldn't remember much. His eyes wandered to the left and right - there was no sign of anyone near. Even Casey seemed to have vanished. The only thing he was sure of was that he was still in New York. Instead of being in the alleyway he was on a rooftop. His communicator was missing, too.

"Damnit," he swore lightly and moved to push himself up to his feet. His head swam again but he managed to hold himself up against what he discovered to be a small water tank on the roof. His body ached pathetically and he began to wonder if someone had kicked the shit out of him while he was unconscious. Cursing at his own weakness, he began to count his options because he wasn't certain how far he could make it before his knees buckled beneath him. Judging by the distance he could take the nearest manhole through the sewers to home, but it would be a ways off. April's pad was closer and a much more appealing place to crash than collapsing somewhere in the middle of sewer water. Heading to the edge of the building he clambered over onto the rickety metal ladder. It was a few stories of work, but he managed to reach solid ground without losing his grip.

Keeping to the back streets he hobbled along until he reached her apartment building, pausing only when his nausea returned. He rounded the corner to come in the way he always did, and couldn't help but groan a little when he realized he had to climb back up more ladders. He didn't dare complain aloud, for fear someone, somewhere would hear, and set to his task until he reached the entrance above. He tapped on the glass and quietly hoped she was home. A few minutes of waiting told him she wasn't and he felt a little disappointed. He tried the window and was glad to find it was uncharacteristically unlocked. He slid inside slowly and closed it behind him, giving April's apartment a once over to confirm that she really wasn't home. Moving over to the sofa he sat down carefully, letting himself stretch out to relieve the aches and pains.

Once he was relaxed he realized he was rather tired and could barely keep his eyes open. As sleep overcame him he idly wondered what had happened to Casey and where April had gone.

* * *

April hoisted the grocery bags in her arms one more time and prayed to the heavens that it wasn't going to rain until she got home. It wasn't long before her mind wandered on the walk back, returning to Raphael and the gifts they had exchanged awhile before. She thought about whether her actions had been smart or not, but at the time she hadn't felt as though they were wrong. All through the evening she had pondered how different, but natural, it felt. With a sigh, she tried to quell the nagging at the back of her mind that it WAS unnatural - the whole thing - at least according to the laws of nature itself. Nothing was forcing her to obey these laws, though, and the more she thought of it the more defiant she grew. Just take it slow, she told herself rationally. Take it slow.

Her boots pattered on the concrete steps as she slipped inside and jogged up the flights to her apartment. Once she reached the door, she juggled the two grocery bags in an attempt to throw her keys into the fray and unlock the door. It was a trick she had mastered long ago and within a couple of minutes she was inside, kicking the door closed, keys jangling from her teeth. She spat them into her hand and settled the bags and keys on the kitchen bar. Her fingers reached down to lazily unlace the boots so she could kick them off into the corner. The second one had just slipped from her heel when he spoke and scared the bejeezus out of her for the billionth time in the last few days.

"April."

"Hah!" she whirled, one hand to her chest and the other in an instinctive, offensive fist. "Raph!" April was ready to scold him for being so childish and scaring her, but she was stopped when she saw his face. He looked a wreck and appeared to be sweating. "Raph, are you alright?"

"Do you have anything to drink? I'm thirsty...," he huffed, leaning on the back of the sofa.

"Yeah, sure...," she nodded and hurried to the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of water to give him. Uncapping it, he downed it all in a couple of gulps and took a deep breath after.

"What happened to you? You look sick," she asked, worriedly.

"Ran into this...asshole... and next thing I know... I'm wakin' up and I feel like I've been run over by a semi," he said, rounding the sofa and sitting down again. April leaned over and pressed a hand to his forehead. He chuckled lightly and looked up at her. "I'm gonna be alright, April."

"Well, you don't feel like you have a fever," she replied, pulling her hand back. "Who was it - do you know?"

"Nah," he replied after clearing his throat. "This is somethin' new."

"Some _thing_," April emphasized, sitting down beside him now.

"I don't know," he murmured. "I've had some bad run-ins, April... And I don't recall feeling weird like this afterward. I don't know how to explain it." She nodded a little.

"Have you told Splinter or the others?"

"I haven't been back since it happened."

"They might be wondering where you are," April pointed out and instinctively got up to go check her messages on the phone. They sat and listened through a couple of sales pitches before the message April had been expecting sounded over the small speaker.

"Hey, April? It's Donny. We lost contact with Raph a little while ago - think something might be going on. If he shows up there will ya give us a call? He's been gone for a few hours and we just want to be sure he's okay. Okay, thanks. Bye." The machine beeped with finality. April looked over at Raphael, a little amused. He grimaced at her. She knew he never liked being treated like a child, even if it just meant his brothers were concerned for his wellbeing. It was a threat to his rough-tough guy image, and one he was more than happy to rebuff. Flipping up the receiver to her shoulder she dialed the number for the pay phone in the sewer and waited until someone picked up.

"You've reached Master Mikey's Ninja Academy and Pizzaria - would you like to hear about our specials today?" There was no need to ask who she had reached.

"Hey, Mike, it's April," she said.

"Oh, hey, gorgeous! What's up?'

"I just wanted to let you guys know that Raph is up here with me, safe and sound."

"Of course he is," Mikey hummed knowingly. "Raph is really a Don Juan, you know." Then he whispered, as if it mattered, "You know he likes you? But don't tell him I said!" April chuckled and pressed her fingers to her lips in amusement. She noticed Raphael was eying her a little warily, no doubt wondering just what the hell was being said on the other end of the phone line.

"I know," she said with a smile. "Don't worry, I'll take care of him. Just make sure the guys know, okay, Mike?"

"Certainly!" Michelangelo replied and she was certain he was saluting at the other end.

"Thanks." She hung up the phone. "What?"

"What did he say?"

"Who?'

"Mike," Raph's tone was suspicious.

"He just said you like to go out dancing every Saturday night - with the fever, fever, baby," she gave a little twist of her hips. Raphael's face contorted redly and she laughed. "I'm joking. He didn't say that. It's too bad, though."

"Why?"

"Raphael dancing? That'd be something to see," she crossed her arms, amused at the images her mind conjured. The turtle looked a little torn between different ways to respond. Did April like dancing? If he didn't dance...was that bad? Or would she figure he was goofy if he danced? Ahhh - what did he care? He couldn't dance even if he wanted to! He suddenly pictured himself in a tutu fighting a clone of himself that was fiercely masculine and huge. He wondered which was going to win. "Hey."

"Enh?"

"Are you still there? You kind of spaced out for a second."

"Yes. I'm fine," he decided and sat up straight.

"You do look better. How are you feeling?"

"Still hurt, but nothing I can't handle," he insisted with a nod. April settled down on her knees by the arm of the sofa where he sat and rested her arms on it to look at him. Raph felt his face start to grow hot at the undivided attention of her eyes and glanced away. "What now?"

"Just trying to unravel the mystery that is Raphael," she said with a professional tone. "I thought maybe a different angle would help."

"You are weird." He hadn't meant to say exactly that - but they were the first words that popped out of his mouth.

"Thank you," she chuckled after cocking a brow at the statement and rose to stand again. "You know, you should probably check in at home. They ARE going to be worried about you whether you like it or not." The turtle scowled a little bit, but moved slowly to stand and tried to ignore the cramps in his legs. "Sure you're going to be alright?"

"Please," he said with a sarcastic tone. "I'm not Mikey."

"Heaven forbid you be anything than what you are," April agreed and then suddenly seemed to have remembered something. "Oh! I have to show you something before you go!" Raphael raised a brow as she trotted down the hallway to her bedroom and back again with his gift in tow. It warmed him inside, despite all the aches, to see her holding it again. "Look at this."

"I know, April.. I gave it to you, remember?" he said, a little confused.

"I know that," she said, nudging his arm. "But it wasn't like this before. Really look!" She held it up to him again and for a moment he thought he might just have to humor her, until he noticed it. You couldn't see it at first glance, but inside the crystal there appeared to be very slight, purple veins throughout the entire sculpture. They caught the light at some angles and dispersed the color through the flower. "I didn't notice this before... but I was looking at it earlier before I went out and I just noticed it! Funny how we can miss these things, huh?" Raphael regarded the flower for a moment and couldn't shake the eerie feeling he was suddenly getting. He pushed it to the back of his mind and told himself he just wasn't feeling entirely well and that was it. April, on the other hand, seemed very pleased with her discovery and even more happy with the gift. He wasn't about to ruin that.

"That's interesting," he said. "I didn't notice that before, either." It was true. He hadn't.

April smiled and looked at it a moment longer before looking back to him and patting him on the arm.

"Okay, sorry I'm keeping you. Get on home and, please, be careful," she said, following him to the window. Raphael nodded and opened the window carefully and slipped out onto the small metal landing there. April leaned through the window and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead, something he was enjoying in their increasing frequency. For a moment he forgot his aches and pains and sour feelings and just enjoyed her warmth. "Bye," she said with a small wave before closing the window.

Raphael began his slow descent down to the alley, unwelcome thoughts swarming back into his mind. It wasn't just the fact that he had been jumped awhile ago and knocked unconcious. It wasn't that he had woken up not knowing where he was and feeling like he'd fought a thousand men. None of it bothered him more than the fact that he was certain the flower had been completely clear when he had discovered it and given it to April. Why it was bothering him so much he could not say. If it was one thing the master taught it was to follow your instincts on most things, though he often scolded Raphael for doing so and disregarded what Raph considered 'instincts' as 'hot-headedness'.

He was just tired. He shook his head to clear it. It had been a strange day and that was enough to make everything seem a little weird.

But...what if his instincts were right?


	7. Beacon

There are times when you never realize that you are dreaming; then there are others when you are most certain. April's subconcious mind was caught somewhere between the two as she lay curled up in the covers of her bed. The images that swelled up before her were not unpleasant, but they were vaguely unfamiliar. She found herself garbed in the layers of a soft, satin kimono as she sat before a small alter. The smell of incense and candles filled her senses. In the back of her mind she knew she was praying for someone - someone she had not seen in a long while. Her heart warmed at the mere thought of him and she knew that there was a deep love within her being for him. Her vigilant prayers were interrupted at the sound of hoofbeats on the road. She rose hastily but moved graceful and calm to the door and down the hallway of a fine, Japanese home.

When she reached the entrance, she felt her heart swell with the appearance of a dark haired man dismounting from his horse. He turned, long tresses messily trailing over the samurai armor he wore. He had removed his helmet for her, for he knew that she loved to look upon his face, dark with the few days without a shave. She did not run to him, but waited for him to approach her and pull her warmly into his arms. Her head rested upon the armor at his chest.

"I've missed you," he spoke softly, lifting her head to look at her. She was unsure if she responded. Even if not, she was certain he knew she reciprocated the very same. His eyes said so.

"I have prayed for your safe return," she said, bringing him into the home which belonged to them both. "Every day."

"Then I am well protected," he mused. "With a protection even the kami could never grant me." April felt herself smiling.

"Shall I cleanse your blade and bless it once more?" she offered, holding out her hands. He smiled and reached around to pull the sword he carried from his belt.

"I would be honored." The weight of the blade in its scabbard was heavy on her hands, and she could feel the girth of it clearly. She found herself turning from him and taking the blade to her alter room where she carefully sat and unsheathed it. She had cleaned and polished his blade many times. As much as it was a favor to him, it was also an appreciation for the sword itself. It was this sword that reminded her how her love had saved her life long before.

The sword that came from the tail of the terrible serpent... the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi...

ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

"So, you didn't see who hit you...at all?"

"Let me think about it...AGAIN... NO," Raphael replied, thoroughly irritated.

"Hey, I'm just trying to figure out what happened to you, okay? It's just a little bit odd that you just lost track of this guy for one second and then get cold clocked the next. Maybe he wasn't working alone," Leo replied, equally miffed.

"I know what I saw, Leo. There ain't no way I would have missed it if there HAD been two of 'em, or more."

"What I want to know is why burn down the museum? What was the point?" Donatello interjected before Leo had a chance to argue that maybe Raph was more fallable than he seemed to think.

"Maybe the owner owed them money?" Michaelangelo offered.

"Maybe, but not likely... That kind of arson doesn't seem warrented by something that small," Don said, with the shake of his head. "Unless we're dealing with a psychopath anyway."

"What about Casey?"

"I don't know. Haven't seen him since I woke up... He's probably fine," Raph added, inwardly hoping that this was true.

"This sounds very serious," Splinter hummed, folding his hands. "We must find out more information about this new threat... Otherwise.. I do not want any of you to confront these ninja in the meantime... particularly not alone. I am concerned for what they may have done to you, Raphael."

"I told you, I feel fine now," the turtle insisted, lifting his hands. "Probably just knocked my head is all."

"Maybe so. But just to be certain, I want you to come with me. We will meditate together and make certain that you are still balanced...both physically and spiritually." Raphael refrained from sighing too deeply, but ground his teeth anyway, grudgingly. He got up and followed his master towards the meditation chamber, leaving his brothers behind to continue discussing the recent events. He hated feeling singled out; as if he were child that had to stay in the classroom to talk with the teacher during recess while the other kids got to go play. He sat in his usual spot while Splinter took his seat before Raphael.

"Is this necessary?" Splinter merely eyed him with his 'this is my serious face'. "Fine."

"I wish you would learn to be a little more willing when people are trying to help you, Raphael. You have made great improvement since your younger days, but still you resist so hard," Splinter said with a shake of his head as he rested his paws on his crossed legs. "Now, tell me. Do you remember where you were hit first... before you fell?"

"I'm pretty sure the only place I got his was on the shell. 'Cause that's what sent me flying down the alley. So, really... there's no harm there," he concluded aloud.

"You would be surprised," Splinter warned. "I want you to close your eyes and breathe with me. I am going to try to look inside you... Please attempt to focus." Raphael, despite his misgivings, did as he was told. The sooner he cooperated, the sooner this would be over. He let his mind clear and think of nothing...just let it wander. His body relaxed and he felt as though he was floating. In the absence of thought, he felt as though his subconcious was being unfolded, opened and brushed through like a book. All images swam through his mind as a blur...until he hit one. He suddenly recalled the flower...and the veins. A chill visibly crawled through his body and he heard Splinter make a small, startled noise. This caused him to open one eye.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, opening both now. Splinter opened his own eyes, looking as if he had mentally lost balance.

"You...are concerned about something, my son," his master responded, vaguely. Raphael blinked once at the statement, and realized it was true. He had just been thinking of the eerie glass flower. Splinter probably had noticed the change in his body language. Honestly, he felt a little silly about the subject, and withdrew from the idea of sharing his thoughts on it. Splinter was the closest thing to family he had besides his brothers, and yet he still hesitated. "Raphael."

"It's nothin'," he finally said when he realized he had been silent suspiciously long. "Just... I just got this gift for April, you know? Not sure if she really liked it. So, I'm just a little anxious...that's all."

"That is not all," the rat insisted with finality, as if he already knew. "You feel something else about this gift. It is bothering you to such an extent I can feel your spirit waver."

"It's stupid, master. Really. I just got this little glass flower... and ya know, I just didn't notice everythin' about it right away. So when I saw that it had changed... I got a little bit confused. I'm overracting. I do that, you know. You always tell me so."

"Perhaps... You may go, Raphael." Relieved that the subject and session had been dropped, Raphael stood up and headed out of the room. Splinter watched him go and wished, again, that his son was not so stubborn to share. What could have caused him to feel...what was it...? Such...unease...about a simple gift. Raphael may have had the tendency to overreact sometimes, or be overexuberant. This was because he was incredibly senstive. His emotions were hard to control...but spritually, he was very open to a lot of things. Nothing had been said at this point, but Splinter knew that Raphael had great potential to sense things his brothers would not. This ability was untempered, so it caused him to act intensely about every little thing he felt. That became his nature.

As far as he could tell the turtle was unharmed inside and out, but there was something that bothered him. As soon as Raphael thought of that flower, the gift, it was as if everything else inside him blacked out. There was nothing to see...and the flower shone like a beacon in this darkness. Did Raphael, himself, not notice this response in his own psyche? Being so sensitive, how could he have not noticed the way his subconcious wrapped around this one...small...thing?

Splinter attempted to still his worries despite his better judgement. There was something more to this... and he was certain, now, that Raphael and April had become unintentionally involved.


	8. Inside

In the blackness that surrounded him Casey wondered if he had died somehow. He did not recall dying, but it was all he could think of that explained the dark and numbness that engulfed him. The only thing that argued otherwise was the feeling of his heartbeat which occasionally rumbled into his ears. Gradually, he tried to find his senses; he could not see but he could smell something dank and musty. It was the type of smell that whispered of old things; older than himself. He could hear what he supposed was the scratching of rats or the scuttling of bugs around him. What he felt gave him the least amount of comfort; he pulled at his arms and could feel they were being restrained by something cold and hard. No, he wasn't dead, but he didn't feel that he was doing much better.

_Awake, concioussss, coherant....._ rattled a voice in his head. He almost hadn't understood what it was saying at first. It had only sounded like a mess of static that may or may not have been real words. _Casey Jonessss..._

"What? Who is it?" Casey choked. He was surprised at how raspy and quiet his voice came. His throat was so dry it he may as well have been drinking sand.

_Doesss not matter. Does not matter who you are. Not who you are now._

"Like hell!" he hacked. "You've *koff* locked me up... I need to know whose face I need to bust in." With his voice failing him, Casey was disappointed at how little strength his threats had. How long had he been here? How long had it been to make him feel so weak?

_Does. Not. Matter. _The voice repeated definitively, in such a tone that it insisted Casey agree. _We need your OTHER. Shadows and shadows before._

Casey was getting tired of this nonsense. "What other me? Casey Jones is the one and only."

_Casey Jones does not matter. _

He jumped a little, as it sounded as though the voice was right beside his head. He could have sworn he felt the thick breath of its owner on his neck. For a moment, his heart jumped to this throat and gagged him.

_I will find you, Yamato.... Doesss not matter how deep you hide. You will tell me._

"Who's Yamato??"

_Your OTHER. Deep, deep, and far away. Do not care for Casey Jones. You will give him to me, even if I must destroy you to find him._

Blinding whiteness consumed him now, but Casey knew he had not died. All he knew was pain.

--------------------------------

As soon as April entered the underground home of the turtles, she was little alarmed. She did not immediately see anyone home as she had hoped. At the very least, Mikey was usually there playing on the arcade games. Just as she was about to turn and leave, a voice caught her attention.

"Hey, April. What's up?" Donatello's warm greeting calmed her mildly as she turned to face him. He had apparently been busy in his workshop since he still had goggles atop his head and his working gloves on. Though she smiled at seeing him, the worry on her face must have been obvious as his own expression mimicked the look. "Is something wrong?"

"Is Raphel here?" she asked after a moment. Donny shook his head and approached her.

"No. He and Leo are out sparring with Splinter. Mikey went to catch a movie. Is there anything I can help with?" April seemed hesitant, but then reached down into her shoulder back and pulled out a small bundle wrapped in a cloth.

"It's... It's this." She reached up and unfolded the cloth in her palm to reveal the crystal flower Raphael had given her. The dark veins were still present from the night before. Donatello looked at it over briefly before returning his gaze to the redhead.

"It's very nice," he offered. April continued to look troubled, which only confused the turtle more.

"It's...acting weird."

"Acting?"

"It shocked me," she finally said, as if it explained everything. Donny scratched his head.

"Shocked you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Donny," April replied, a little frustrated at how silly she sounded. She moved to the kitchen and sat the flower in the cloth on the counter. Donatello followed her, trying to make sense of things. "Raphael gave this to me a few days ago. A day or so after, these veins appeared.... and then this morning when I tried to pick it up it shocked me - like static." She gestured to it helplessly. Intrigued, Donatello reached over to pick up the flower himself. It separated from the cloth and he held it in his gloved hand with no trouble, examining it.

"That is a little strange." Examining it closer, Donny took a chance and slipped the glove from one of his hands to try holding the crystal in his bare palm. He felt nothing and shrugged, looking at April. Her face scrunched up indignantly.

"I'm not crazy, Donny!" she insisted, reaching out for the flower. The minute her fingers came in range of the crystal, a tiny arc of blue lightning shot out to contact them. She shrieked and pulled her hand back, cradling it to her chest with the other. Donatello's eye went wide at the reaction and he dropped the flower instinctively. It clattered across the floor, but failed to shatter.

"What was that??" he asked aloud.

"I told you!" she said, shakily, biting her lip. Donny reached over and took her hand carefully to look at it and make sure she hadn't been burned. Once he was sure there was no damage, he rubbed her hand a little to comfort her.

"I'm sorry... I didn't think it would...," he murmured, and glanced over at the flower on the floor.

"Well, I didn't exactly think it would either...." Donatello furrowed his brow a little. He had touched the thing with his bare flesh, and yet it didn't react until April got near it; nevermind that it seemed like a plain old mantel decoration. Why on Earth would it retain an electrical charge? Why shock only April? Did it have something to do with those veins? When he was certain April was alright, he ventured over and carefully reached out to pick up the flower. No arcs of energy came, and he scooped it up.

"I think I had better take a closer look at this," he said. April nodded in agreement and followed Donatello as he ventured back into his workshop.

------------------------------

".....so clumsy, I might have hit something vital."

"Go ahead n' try it, Leo. You could NEVER get a hit on me that I couldn't take."

"Says the guy who got JUMPED in the alleyway and knocked unconcious!"

"Be quiet!" Splinter commanded as he entered the hideout behind his two bickering sons. His eyes fell to April, who was currently sitting on the sofa, looking as though she was waiting for test results from a doctor. Raphael and Leonardo followed his gaze, having been too wrapped up in their argument to notice her at first.

"April!" Raph said, a little too enthused at first. He glanced back to Leo and his master, embarassed at how eager he had sounded, and promptly stiffened up his manner. "Echm... April."

"Hi, guys," April said, with a lift of her hand.

"Is something worrying you, my child?" Splinter asked, approaching her as he mounted the steps from the doorway.

"Well, I came here to see Raphael about something," she began. Raphael felt his heart swell in his chest, though he bit his tongue so as not to let the feeling melt his manly expression into lovey goo in front of his brother. "It's about the gift you gave me the other day."

"What about it?" he asked, perking up. He suddenly recalled the veins that had disturbed him the night prior. Had something else happened? The warmth he felt inside soon gave way to unease.

"Well, it -"

"It's AMAZING!" They all turned to see Donatello emerging from his workshop holding the flower. He looked positively ecstatic, like had just discovered a new solar system with a vast array of intelligent life and technology.

"What is, Donatello?" Splinter spoke up first.

"This!" Donny replied, gesturing to the flower as he came closer. "Do you realize what this is??"

"Aaaa flower?" Raph said, sarcastically.

"Not just that. These veins here - or what we THOUGHT were veins? It's an intricate...VERY intricate...map!" Donatello stood in overjoyed silence as his siblings, sensei, and friend stared at him blankly for a moment. He gestured a little wildly with his hands. "Okay, no, you can't see it with the naked eye...but if you expand every little strand in here, it perfectly matches up to a map of a land mass. Specifically, Honshu, in Japan!"

"..Where in Honshu?" Splinter asked, his ears falling back a little, warily.

"Well, as far as I can tell it appears to lead to the base of Mt. Fuji," Donny replied. Splinter let out a rumbling hum in his throat that seemed to be a mix of discomfort and thoughtfulness.

"What's at Mt. Fuji?" Leo asked, still a little perplexed at the sudden appearance of this mysterious map.

"I have no idea," Donny replied. "But I'm wondering if it has anything to do with April." He glanced over at her, and the others followed his gaze.

"Whattya mean?" Raph asked, semi-defensively.

"Well. Earlier, when April brought the flower here...we discovered that it reacts to her."

"Reacts?" Leo asked.

"It shocks me," April piped up.

"Literally," Donny added when the confused looks arose again. "Electric pulses eminated from this thing and shocked her. It's a wonder she didn't get burnt." Raphael idley slid onto the couch by April and took a glance at her hands to make sure that was true. It would have been horrible if he had given her something that had wounded her. Luckily, it seemed that wasn't the case. Still, what was this map business about?

"Where did you get the flower, Raphael?" Splinter asked.

"I don't remember," Raph replied defensively, shrugging. "It was just some little trinket shop down near the theater. I picked it up on my way home." He threw his arms over the back of the couch and frowned, irritated.

"There is definitely more to this than we originally imagined," their sensei said, stroking his chin. "April, may I borrow your gift for awhile?" April nodded without hesitation. Any answers Splinter might be able to give for the situation would be welcome. Donatello handed the crystal to his master, who wrapped his claws about it and studied it for a moment silently. With a glance back to his sons and April, he turned to head into his private quarters to do some research.

"I'm going to look at that map some more...," Donatello said after a few moments of quiet ensued. He hurriedly dashed back to his workshop, giddy to learn more from his new discovery. Leo shook his head, still trying to piece everything together, and moved to enter his own room.

Now alone, Raph let his eyes wander freely back to April.. His fingers tapped the back of the couch thoughtfully as he considered scooting inward.

"I'm sorry," April said. He was a little startled by it, since he had planned on apologizing for giving her a hazardous gift in the first place.

"Uh, no, it's alright. Uh, why?" he blabbered a little.

"It really was a nice gift," she said, reassuringly.

"Yeah. Next time I'll try to get you something that won't try to electrocute you," he murmured, sullenly. April put a hand to her mouth and laughed a little.

"It's okay. You didn't know. I just hope Splinter and Donny can figure something out."

"Yeah... I guess...," Raphael replied, turning his eyes to the ceiling. His fingers were close enough on the back of the couch to touch the ends of her hair, which she was wearing down today. He loved it when she wore it like that - it framed her face so well.

"Have you been okay since we talked last?" she finally asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. It really wasn't anything I couldn't handle," he reassured her with his genuine pride. April looked at him with a slightly cocked eyebrow, silently mocking his tough-guy act. Raphael looked back and felt his face flush with the teasing gaze. Damnit, he thought. Why was she so good at making him feel like such a wuss! He hated it and loved it all at the same time - emotions were so confusing.

"I guess you don't need me then," she mused, crossing her arms and tossing her head dramatically to the side.

"That's NOT what I said!" he bellowed a little loudly, turning to face her on the couch. He glanced around, having realized the volume of his voice and shrunk down into the cushions, looking positively humiliated for a second. She had done it again!

April had been a little taken aback at his outburst, a hand to her chest and eyes wide. Once the shock of it had worn off though, she laughed wholeheartedly. "Oh, Raph... You shouldn't take things so seriously..."

"But it is serious," he murmured, still a little red in the face. It matched his mask perfectly. "I...missed you..." He coughed.

"Sorry, what?" she asked, leaning closer. Raphael gave her a look that warned her not to make him say it louder or else there would be dire consequences. April smiled and muffled a small laugh. "Okay. Okay....." Leaning back she gave a deep sigh. "I'm just glad you're doing okay after that run-in you had.... I was praying you'd be safe." Raphael lifted his head a little more and looked at her; his expression had softened some.

"Then I am well protected," he replied lightly.

April blinked a couple of times at the response, caught in a weird sense of deja-vu. She simply smiled and nodded in return, a warmth filling her then, like a treasured memory from long ago.

*****************

A/N: HI! I'm back! Did you miss me!? :) Sorry that I haven't gotten to this story in a long while, but I felt compelled to return to it, so I hope you guys like this chapter. Hopefully, the next one won't take me so long!


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